The Dust is Settling

September 8, 2005

Friends:

Although we are still running around from agency to agency applying for assistance, the dust is beginning to settle a little. With the kids in school, life is not quite as chaotic. The kids seem to be adjusting nicely and love regaling me with classroom and playground tales.

I have been dropping them off and picking them up most days. When I do, I ask them to tell me one new thing they learned and what the best part of their day was (and it can't be recess). Answering my questions makes them use their critical thinking processes. When we get home, we pull out homework folders, put away backpacks, and sit down to do homework. My homework time with the children is, I believe, my special opportunity to bond with them. I use my skills as a mother and artist educator to make learning fun.

My brother's four children come from a broken home. Their mother isn't around much (she calls maybe once or twice a week and speaks to them for about 30 seconds each. I have not once heard any of the children ask for their mother. My mom, their "Nana," has been the primary caretaker of these children for a long time. On Tuesday, my mom is being transferred to Ft. Worth, Texas until further notice. She is a civilian who works for the military and works in supply. They have asked her to step in and coordinate supply efforts for the planes that ship supplies for the military (many going to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort).

What's sad is that now that we have a routine established, Nana is leaving. The kids have had so much upheaval in their lives these past two weeks and now, they face losing someone else they love - their grandmother. Mom will be home on weekends but it's going to be hard on me and the kids. I will be moving into the role of primary maternal figure in these children's lives. Of course, my brother is still around but he seems content in letting me take over. Thank God my husband is still here - he can help me...

What's really important is setting up routines. They need discipline and familiarity and routines will give them that. I have set up a weekly behavior chart that will allow thfem to monitor their behavior. If the children receive 4 stickers (out of a possible 7 - for each day of the week), they receive a bonus sticker and will be treated to a reward at the end of the week. They will be able to work for walks to the park, swimming privileges, special trips to the library, trips to Barnes and Noble, crafting with Aunt Dianne, and special story times. A month of bonuses will mean they can earn big trips like the zoo, movies, children's museum, or water park.

I try to praise out the best in them, creating a balance of discipline and love. I'm not going to lie - it's going to be an uphill climb because they have to unlearn bad habits. They are also quite a handful when they are all together. But these children deserve a chance at a good life and I want to give it to them. Even if it's in a small way. Gary's children need to know that they are special, that they deserve attention and respect, and that are loved.

Until next time...

Warmly,

Dianne